Validating marriage dating someone with esteem problems
So if you’re living with a mate who fits any of those descriptors, accept that this skill may be one that you’ll have to lead out on and be the example for your spouse.
In time, you just might inspire them to let go of self-protection and risk by validating your feelings in return.
Validation is so important in highly charged moments.
Sometimes a conflict can be averted by simply validating what your spouse has said.
These words from Saint John Paul II, have for me, been at the heart of the annulment and convalidation process; healing, redemption, purity, mastery over concupiscence, a deeper understanding of the spousal meaning of the body, and a grasp of the sacramentality of marriage.
I’ve written elsewhere about not being able to take the Eucharist as a divorced and remarried woman.
I can never write those words without tearing up—they move me so.
But validation can make any time of communication more comforting and effective and is often a lost art in a messy marriage.
Be aware that giving validation is difficult for those who are deeply wounded, self-absorbed or self-protective.
Validation is a skill that’s so very elusive to many of us.
In fact, it’s often left unexplained in our families, churches and culture.