Cheating on dating sites
A scientist poking at his marriage in a petri dish, outlining the shape of his discontent.
He didn't have sex with the first woman he met from the site, so he doesn't feel guilty.
It was wild, he says, and then puts his hand on my leg. is 32, tall and slim, and has been married for two years. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy."What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.
He's been with his wife since they were just out of college. I remove his hand from my leg; I tell him he doesn't look like a father. He says he did not marry the wrong woman, that he'd want to stray no matter who he was with. In one of his emails, he says he can't write too much, but there are 800 words, and pictures of him and his children. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted.
They are beautiful, the son eating an ice cream cone, the young girl in overalls. is holding her up and she is grabbing his finger, and the finger is wearing a wedding ring. He believes that marriage is a path all men must travel at some point. wants to meet me, but he's not sure he can steal time away.
As such, this relationship — the one with me — is a village in a different country, on another planet. He didn't realize when he married her that a little under a decade later he would be bored.
It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.
When he is standing on the soccer field and children are moving around in a blur, he says, he slips out of the game and thinks of me, and if his Black Berry vibrates in his pocket, he hopes that it is me.
Dammit, dammit, dammit."All of the men tell me that their wives would never guess they are doing this. "I've never been caught." This one has had affairs before.
He has gone home to his wife after renting a room and having sex there with another woman. is in his mid-30s and works in finance, though he wanted to be a scientist. The screen on his phone is taken up by an image of his baby daughter; he moves it aside with his thumb and forefinger to search for a book I tell him he would like. has trouble with eye contact, so he says to his water, "You're beautiful."He has never eaten caviar, so we order a flight.